I’ve been a little silent here lately. I’ve had something on my mind and wasn’t quite sure how to wrap it up in a nicely packaged blog post. To be honest, I wasn’t sure if I should share it. I can be a bit old school when it comes to divulging certain info, especially anything to do with money. I don’t mind reading about it on other blogs (because I’m nosey like that, er, I mean I’m intrigued), but somehow putting things out there for the world to read just makes you a little more vulnerable … and more human, I guess. Somewhere along the way, we have learned that being human isn’t a good thing. Shameful.
So, last week we got the news that my husband was receiving a rather ginormous pay cut. And by ginormous, I mean extremely-overweight-bloated-dinosaur sized. Cutbacks and pay cuts have been slinging all over the place. We’re blessed that he has a job in the midst of these harsh times.
We live in one of the worst hit cities by this horrid economy. People are losing jobs like little kids lose teeth, yet the tooth fairy is nowhere to be found. Homes are foreclosing left and right. Strip malls look like ghost towns. Fear is everywhere. Stress can easily be seen in the eyes of those passing by.
As I mentioned in a previous post, we started investing in real estate when we were practically babies. Again, that chapter has slammed shut. I’m aware of this on so many levels.
Over the weekend, I walked around the house thinking about the cold hard facts that this economy is dealing us. Stress started to fill my already clouded head. I began to fold laundry (my husband’s t-shirts) when it hit me all the sudden. Five years ago, I would have begged to have the promise of today’s worries had it meant that my husband would live…
Five years ago, my husband almost passed away.
Very long story short, he was given a medication that nearly killed him. He had an allergic reaction which caused pulmonary edema, double pneumonia and his liver started shutting down. At one point, the doctors also thought he had a heart attack. He was 30, in the best shape he had ever been in (thankfully so, since he lost 22 lbs in less than a week) and, at the time, nobody knew why his body was failing so quickly.
I was warned several times that he may not make it. I spent hours crying uncontrollably. In the ICU waiting room, I fell asleep in the arms of concerned loved ones while tears drained down my face. I didn’t even have enough energy to pray.
My husband had completed his EMT certification so he knew medically what was happening to his body. He tightly held my hand, looked me straight in the eyes and said things to me that are only supposed to be in movies…because what was happening to us at the moment surely didn’t feel real. He knew he might not make it.
I remember coaching him through what seemed to be hours of breathing. He avoided being put on a ventilator several times, although he actually begged for it. I’ve never witnessed someone struggle so hard to breathe. I literally had to tell him when to breathe in and when to let it go.
At that time, I was trying to mentally prepare myself for a life without my best friend and man of my dreams. I couldn’t wrap my mind around what it would be like to spend a single second without him by my side. I didn’t know how I would get through the following 30 seconds, much less the next 30, 40, 50 years without him. I would take ANY struggle in life as long as it was a life WITH him.
Praise God that prayer was answered.
As I finished folding the laundry, I smiled, held back a tear and reminded myself that this economic hardship is nothing compared to what we went through five years ago. This is merely a detour on a road trip that will provide stories that will last a lifetime. I’ll enjoy the scenery (because flowers will still bloom) and send postcards along the way. I’ll also think of those who have it so much worse and try to do my part to encourage them to keep going.
Breathe in. Let it go…
So then, banish anxiety from your heart and cast off the troubles of your body. ~ Ecclesiastes 11:10
Working on an update for the ‘project’…things are moving along…
©2010 Melody G. Fritchley